March 26, 2015

Should Having Twins Really be a Surprise?

Recently I read this article on babble "I Wish My Wife and I Weren’t Having Twins" and his wife's article: "I’m Expecting Twins — and I Feel Like I Ruined My Family" and it really irritated me.

Everyone is usually surprised when they find out they are having two babies instead of one. I'm not saying they shouldn't, but when you go into having a baby, you should ALWAYS be prepared for the chance of multiples, not just twins. What if you have triplets, quadruplets? Are you ready to support more than one new addition?

What bugs me about this couple is they live in a one bedroom apartment and planned on adding another kid. Maybe if they had a two bedroom apartment, but seriously, two kids and only one bedroom? What were you thinking to begin with? Now you have twins, that's three kids. They probably should have thought about housing before getting that IVF. Seriously, where were they planning to put baby number two? Four people sleeping in one room? That can't be fun.

That brings me to point two, They opted for IVF to get pregnant and they chose to double her chances by using two embryos. So instead of using that money to move into bigger housing, they put it towards a second child and risk the possibility of having twins, and what do you know, they got twins!

Another thing that's upsetting is that they hoped for a girl and got two boys instead. Well gender is 50/50, if you can't be happy with what you get, then you shouldn't have a baby or elect for adopting instead of IVF so then you can guarantee a baby girl. They also wanted the child for their son. That's another problem.

You should never have a baby for any other reason besides the fact that YOU want another one. Only children grow up fine, they don't need a brother or a sister. Heck, I had a younger sister and it was not that great. I wished I was an only child a lot growing up and even now I feel like an only child. We might text every now and then, plan things for our parents, go on family trips together, but we aren't best friends. We don't share everything that's happening in our lives. We don't live in the same state, so distance is a factor, but even if we did, we probably wouldn't hang out all that much since we have different interests.

Point is, should twins really be a surprise? Well yes because they aren't that common, but no, because you should have thought ahead to the possibility of two at once and be prepared for an extra baby, which is another reason why it's better to wait till you are financially ready to support a baby because it makes supporting two that much easier.

March 20, 2015

A Puppy is Like a Baby

Being a girl/woman with hormones, I went from wanting 1 kid, to wanting 5, to wanting none, and back to maybe 1 or twins. Where do I stand now? Well I might like 1 or if mother nature so chooses, twins are acceptable, hopefully not triplets, but thankfully those don't run in my family!

So what does this have to do with a puppy? Well I wanted a running buddy for starters and at the time I was still in the mind-set of never having children. A dog seemed like a perfect way to find out. Granted, getting a pet, is a HUGE commitment and it took us a year before getting one. Sad thing is, babies are a bigger commitment, but people seem to always leap in when it comes to babies rather than thinking ahead to the staying up all night and constant crying. Yet, when it comes to pets, I know a lot of people who will say no because of the work involved. Crazy right?

Anyway, we decided a young puppy would be too much for us (we're cat people) and ended up adopting Lexie, a border collie/sheltie mix. At the time we got her she was around 7 months old. She was already pretty much potty trained (had a few accidents, but that's to be expected in a new home) and she was already kennel trained (cried the first night, but was fine after that, just needed to get used to her new surroundings).

One thing I remember is bursting into tears a few weeks after we got her. It was such a huge change to my lifestyle. I never had to take the cats outside to go potty, I didn't have to walk the cats, Lexie demanded my attention. I decided on obedience class to see if that would help, and it did, it gave me the tools to teach Lexie to sit, lie down, and even roll over. So now, almost a year later, I love her to bits. We go running together when it's nice out, cuddle on the couch, she knows how to ring a bell to go outside so I don't have to worry about watching the time, she just lets me know she needs to go out by ringing the bell. It's a great system!

Lexie opened the door to the possibility of wanting a child. A baby is probably going to be a hundred times more work than a dog, but if I was able to adjust to having a puppy, I think I can adjust to having a child. It's going to be hard, that's for sure, a puppy was no piece of cake for me; I'm not good with change. I'll probably cry a lot, but I hear it's worth it. It's too bad the only way to find out is to have a baby.

So how exactly is a puppy like a baby?

  • Both need their poop picked up after them - baby will eventually grow up, but picking up after a dog helps you get used to seeing and touching poop (with a plastic bag of course). 
  • You have to potty train both - we skipped this step by not getting such a young puppy 
  • Both need attention.
  • Dogs will make messes, they throw up, play in mud, etc. and you will have to clean it up, a baby will make ten times as many messes as a dog. We lucked out and Lexie's only bad habit is destroying stuffed toys, Nylabones are the only thing she gets because of that. 
  • Dogs bark - babies cry (we lucked out and Lexie barks rarely, usually when the doorbell rings, but we have neighbors whose dogs will bark constantly while outside). 
  • Both will need baths, and you have to bathe them, they can't do that themselves. 
  • Both teethe.
  • You have to buy toys for both.  
  • Both will wake you in the middle of the night (puppy needs to go out, baby needs to eat). 
  • You will have to puppy proof/baby proof your home. 

As you can see dogs and babies have a lot in common, but they are also very different. As your child grows, they begin to learn right from wrong. Kids can be punished, dogs can't. Dogs will never really listen to you. You can teach them commands, but they won't understand that something they did was wrong.

Dogs never grow up, they are a constant toddler in need of your love and attention, but a dog is a great way to see if you are willing to care for a child. However, a dog is a commitment, so make sure you can afford it and are willing to take care of it for 15 years (or longer!).

A baby is an even BIGGER commitment and yet people will often jump in without considering costs or the long-term care. A child will be your responsibility for 18 years and even after that, many parents still help their children out (don't forget grandchildren!), that's a commitment till you die versus a pet that lives for only around 15 years. Just food for thought.

March 16, 2015

Walk For a Dog App Review

Now that it is getting warm out again, I'd like to share an awesome phone app I discovered last summer: Walk For a Dog.
Image Source

Walk For a Dog by Wooftrax is a FREE app. It uses GPS to track you when you are out walking your dog. You are able to select a shelter of your choice to walk for and every mile you walk earns your shelter a donation. It's a really simple way to donate to a shelter you love and a great way to encourage you to get out and walk with your dog. You don't even need a dog! You can just go for a walk!

This is an awesome app and it works on both android and iPhone.

Download it here!

This review is my honest opinion and I was not compensated in any way. 

March 13, 2015

When Are You Having Kids?

After being married for two years, this question gets old. In the beginning it was easy to just to politely respond "oh you know when we're ready" or "when the times right." Now, however, I feel like being snarky: "Who said we're having kids?" or "None of your business."

The truth? Well we don't know. We know we're not ready now, but we don't know if that'll change in a month, a year, or five years. Maybe we'll never be ready.

Not everyone has kids, and that's a good thing. It makes up for the people who pop out twenty children. The world is overpopulated as it is, we could use fewer babies. It is wrong for our society to think just because you're married you should have children. There are plenty of horrible parents out there that should never have had kids.

 Also, it really is none of your business. Why do strangers care if you have children or not? It doesn't affect them. They're not going to be grandparents. They'll probably never even see the child.

 Now when family asks, it's still rude, but at least it's because they want to be an aunt or uncle. They might actually see the baby. So I can understand why they might ask, maybe once, but to repeatedly ask? Well maybe they forgot your reason and want to ask again, but at some point it's not longer justifiable and it becomes just plain annoying and rude.

I also think when people ask this they are looking for an argument or some way to pressure us into having kids. They'll say things like "oh you're never ready for a child, just do it." Yes, that's a great reason to have a child, if you want to be an irresponsible adult. Just because one can, doesn't mean one should. Sometimes I just want to slap people.

A lot of time people say you'll love having kids because they love their kids. FALSE! Not everyone is the same. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I personally don't like kids. They are annoying, loud, germ spreaders. To be fair, it might just be the parents I don't like since it's probably their fault for not keeping their children under control, but that's just proof that not everyone should be a parent.

When and whether or not we have kids is our decision. It is no one else's business. So if you're one of those people who feel compelled to ask every couple you know, "When are you having kids?" Take a moment and think, why do I care? What kind of response am I hoping for? And if you do ask, accept the couple's answer and move on.

March 6, 2015

Ovia Fertility - A Review

Images taken from my phone and belong to Ovia

Image Belongs To Ovia
Ovia is a phone app that tracks your fertility. They also have a pregnancy app, but I haven't tried that one since I'm not pregnant.

Most use Ovia for tracking when they are fertile to have sex, but it can also work the opposite way, to see when not to. It also can predict your next period, which is why I love it. If you have an irregular period, it's harder to track your fertility, but still doable.

If you are an NFP user, then this is the app for you. It tracks your basal body temperature, your cervical opening, vaginal mucus, etc... When I started NFP, I had to use an excel sheet/chart and it was difficult, Ovia charts for you! You just enter your data and that's it.

On a side note, as much as I love NFP, I never recommend using just one form of birth control. You should always use two or more as a precaution, for example: a condom with NFP or a pill and a condom, etc. Contraception is only 99% effective, so the more you use, the safer you are from getting pregnant before you plan to be!

Ovia also tracks many other things, such as sleep patterns, water consumption, exercise, etc! I have tried other apps in the past and this one is my favorite, which is why I had to share! I am not endorsed, nor paid by Ovia to write this review. Did I mention it's free? They do have a paid option I believe, but I have never had the need for it.

Image Belongs To Ovia

This review is my honest opinion and I was not compensated in any way.