April 24, 2015

Fifty Shades of Abuse

There is two sides to this argument. The it is just a book, it is fiction/fantasy, what is the the big deal? And then the extreme side, that the book is about an abusive relationship.

Some might argue there is a third opinion, that there is no abuse, but having read the first ten chapters myself, I scoff at that.

I read ten horribly written chapters and had to stop. The writing was awful, inner goddess? Really? What the heck was that about? And then the whole showing up at her work? She never even told him where she worked and he is not even her boyfriend! I swear I was more freaked out than Ana when I read that, but I digress.

Physical abuse might not be as obvious since Ana consented to being dominated (although it seems to be quite unhealthy), but psychological abuse it totally present.  
By juxtaposing statements such as “I am incapable of leaving you alone” with “you can leave at any time,” Grey engages in emotionally manipulative — and questionably abusive — behavior. (source)
However, instead of making another post on how "Fifty Shades of Grey" show cases an abusive relationship, I want to focus on how this affects young adults and teenagers reading these books. Let's start with looking back at the Twilight series, the inspiration for "Fifty Shades of Grey." 

I had the unfortunate experience of reading the "Twilight" series (yes I actually somehow manage to make it through this one, I was in a vampire phase). The books were horribly written, but my main issue was Bella.

Bella is this girl who desperately likes this guy who turns out to be a vampire, becomes obsessed, falls in love, and then he leaves her. She goes into deep depression and even tries to kill herself. That is a great reaction to being dumped! What message does that send to teenage girls, that if you love someone so much and they do not love you back, it is the end of the world? That going into suicide mode is normal after a break up? Well I hope not!

It is one thing to enjoy books like "Twilight" and "Fifty Shades of Grey," it is a whole other issue when people begin to believe the relationships in these books are healthy. A lot of people claim Ana is okay with everything Christian does, but then why does she desperately want to talk about "sex" with her best friend? Why does she want to leave, go to Alaska? Why does she complain about her food regiment even though she signed the agreement? 

I just don't agree or I think she is being manipulated to be okay with it. I mean, she is a virgin, she has never had sex, she does not know anything other than what Christian has taught her. Ana needs to get out and date other guys. To me she seems weak and pathetic, hence why she stays an awful relationship. Bella and Ana are two girls who could use some serious therapy. 

The problem is not the stories themselves, it is the readers. The readers need to realize that it is fiction and not base their relationships on the ones in these stories. No girl should wish to marry a Christian Grey or Edward Cullen.

Parents need to make sure their kids understand this, but there are plenty of parents out there who claim this is an okay relationship? Would you seriously want your daughter to marry a Christian Grey. Some guy who just takes an innocent girl, turns her into his sex slave, and basically manipulates her into staying with him because otherwise he'd go after her? Does that sound healthy?

I think schools need a relationship class for this reason. Not all parents can be trusted to teach their kids these important lessons. If more girls were aware of the potential danger in these type of relationships, they would be less likely to end up in one.

Not only girls can be affected by these books, but boys too. Boys might think this abusive, dominant behavior is okay. It could lead them to potentially abuse women, thinking it was okay because that is what a relationship is about, so denying that there is not any abuse in these books could be quite harmful on our society.

I repeat, my problem is not with the stories, it is what the readers take away from the story. I think the reason many claim that Christian and Ana have a healthy relationship is because they feel the need to defend a story they loved. It is okay to love the story for what it is, a story, but it is not okay to claim that the relationship is healthy because that leaves an impression on young girls that could lead to them to being in an abusive relationship. I would never want any of my children to marry a Christian Grey, let alone date one. I also would not want any of my children to turn into an egomaniac, abusive jerk, and I would hope many other parents feel the same way.

For those of you who would like to read more about the abuse in "Fifty Shades of Grey," check out these links and videos:

No comments:

Post a Comment